Sunday, June 1, 2008

Downwardly Mobile Europersons and Hills Hooligans


Our CenterGirl is a request from a very dear friend, but, as I was doing my always extensive “research” for this weekend’s issue of Upwardly Mobile Eurotrash, I found myself becoming increasingly concerned, befuddled and depressed.

Carla, sweetheart, you married down, for god’s sake. He’s horrid, ugly, tacky and low in stature. He shat all over his previous wives, uses you like tabloid eye candy and nothing good will come of it.

While it’s fun to have a new incarnation, now we’re wearing Galliano frocks and Chanel flats, the whole Pillbox Jackie meme, but seriously WTH?

I can empathize with the fact that you make abysmal choices in men. Mick Jagger, Eric Clapton…Donald Trump. And you just need a head of state to add to your resume. But, please, The Nicky is a peeg, and a jackbooted one to boot.


**************

Yes, some of us had thought I was to resume my profoundly black, agonized political rants this evening, but I was unable. The sight of those crazed, HRT challenged, unbearably rude, catcalling Code Pink wannabees, screeching at the top of their lungs, cheering on their own Queen Hillbot at the Democratic Party Rules Committee meeting whilst all chances of her coronation faded…all I could do was clutch my Irish passport to my heart and fear for her nation.

4 comments:

V said...

Perhaps the easy answer is that she's a peeg, too.

Mark said...

I've decided to call it 'Sciousness'. As in SSSHHH Sciousnees. It means multi-sense awareness. It's been seconded and thirded. Anyone else in favour?

:-)

Anonymous said...

In favour.

And, yes, I'm afraid the simple answer might indeed be that she's also a peeg. Especially given her former lovers. I'd be hard pressed to decide which of those "men" were the peegiest of them all.

John said...

I wonder which one will use the other one the most (and which will dump the other one first :)

I was surprised by his previous wife, Cecilia, who was previously married to Jacques Martin.

At least Jacques Martin was funny, can't say the same about the dwarf :)