[NYET wins, thousands cheer, others moan and now, in the second chapter of Lisbon Treaty: WTF?!, all EU countries are saying they don’t have the slightest idea what this means, but they are absolutely certain it means something, and that something is most likely messy and dire.]My tribute to Daddy’s Day Weekend, as I mentioned in a comment on the post below, was to offer support, solace and easy tips for those not feeling in the mood to celebrate this particular holiday. Perhaps you might have vague, almost catatonic, memories of your own father punching out a sibling in a drunken snit on Christmas morning, downing the tree which crushed all the unopened gifts and sending your mother screaming out the door.
Or perhaps he retired from your life when you were 12, claiming he had just discovered, and owned, the fact that he was a Proud Gay American, only to be outed 2 years later when he was picked up on a morals charges, shacked up with the 16 year old daughter of your mother’s best friend.
Granted, the above are best case scenarios, but even those with truly traumatic experiences can find ways to take comfort, soothe their thoroughly unresolved anger issues and have a pain-free Daddy’s day.
TIP #1: It could have been ever so much worse.
Deep in your heart, assuming you’re over the age of 24 [or, for boys, 30], you know this. But sometimes we all need a little reminder. It could [now bear with me because how the hell does anyone ever know the truth of a man, and he has admitted to at least one encounter of the female kind] have been Gore Vidal. Just imagine life as the despised offspring of one of the most vicious, preening, petulant über-narcissists ever visited on humankind.
TIP#2: Get over it.
If male, locate a straw man. Preferably someone who looks or acts like him, or, if not, who is dumb, weak and/or available. Then vanquish him. Knock him off whatever pedestal on which you/he perceive him to be ensconced. This could be done virtually [just leave a scary number of contemptuous comments on his blog] or physically [best accomplished whilst one or both of you are sporting extremely high blood alcohol levels].
TIP #3: Adopt
Find someone. It might be a gentleman already of your acquaintance, perhaps that charming eccentric down the street or the reckless uncle who let you cadge beers at his flat when you were 11. Or you could hang out in your park, chatting up the elderly chess or bocce players. Once you find your long lost dad, and you will, simply inform him of the blessed event and get on with it. Listen to his stories, all of them. Stand up straight, act like a man and make him proud.
7 comments:
Are you allowed to include God as a distant daddy, and if so does that explain a lot of human suffering and all-round misbehaviour?
PS I still feel guilty about my last post
Mark: Mommy forgives you [about the last post!]. As a matter of fact, she quite enjoyed it.
God/Daddy: yes, indeed. And in that case, I prefer the "Adopt" option.
Me too, the adopt option = brilliant, as was the whole post.. my family agrees, too (in fact, to Amina and Zainab I think I am that eccentric you've just mentioned..!)
Xx
I'm afraid God, as in monotheistic, is not really suitable for me.
But Thor, or Bacchus are deemed acceptable.
Although of course I could have my own father who was nothing like the fathers described by Irl. I guess I am a lucky person really to have had a decent father.
Ah, yes, John, but even when fathers and gods were just fine, there are times when we need a new one, if even for just a little while.
or is it not just the very oldest one, the one from which we all come, and for that matter go, that we now most need?
but i think you must be talking of gods in the greek - which is to say human, fallen variety - vis a vis Dear Mr Barry O?
well, that way is fraught with potential problems, IMO, he is a free marketeer after all. but I suppose only time will tell, which side of the barrio, our new God Barry O resides..
Love to all
M
.. or, should I say, barricado? (pls correct me if muy spanish incorrectado!)
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